Humor and grief: a letter from me to you

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Today, I’d like to make a departure from the tone of our typical blog articles. Instead of writing about grief research or ways to lead a healthier life, I’d like to get a little bit personal.

First, an introduction: I’m Lindsey. I’ve been writing these blog posts for about a year now.

I came into this job several months ago, not from a history interacting with funerals, but from a history interacting with content. Having curated, written, and edited articles for several brands in the past, I was excited for the opportunity and challenge of attempting to connect with an online audience in this topic area that was so foreign to me.

Embarking on this new adventure, I determined that I would be open to trying new things ... things that seemed weird or unnatural, even. That’s what led me, after a couple of months on the job, to try posting humorous content on our Facebook page -- a move I made with some trepidation, considering that our industry is naturally so focused on soothing those who have experienced great loss.

It started back in March of this year with a comical cartoon I stumbled upon online. The illustration is of a group of mourners at a cemetery standing next to a square-shaped casket awaiting interment. The ground beside the casket has been dug up, but not in a square shape. Instead, the hole is circular. One of the mourners is saying, “Well, he never fit in, so this is how he wanted to be remembered.”

I posted the image on Facebook, aware that our audience might not be ready to accept a humorous message from our company. But, as I said earlier, I was determined to at least try.

What I discovered from posting that cartoon and several subsequent funny images -- a man on his deathbed requesting to be buried with an elephant bone to confuse future archaeologists, vegetables crying at an onion’s funeral, what happened when Picasso was a mortician for a day -- was that not only is our audience mostly OK with humor as it relates to death and grief, they actually seem to love it.

Since I began working with Newcomer, my five most successful Facebook posts have been funny ones. The best one so far? A cartoon featuring the regrettable aftermath of a corn cob’s cremation.

Now, I look forward to the day of the week, every week, when my humor posts go live for our audience to see. (That day of the week, by the way, is Thursday … in case you’re interested in following the future of these posts.) I’m excited each time somebody likes or shares one.

I’ve done some thinking about why humor, of all things, would perform well on a funeral home’s social media site. One reason is certainly because of the venue; if the funny videos and images in my news feed are any indication, Facebookers love humor. But I think there may be more to the success of those posts than their natural potential to go “viral.”

In this discussion, one particular story comes to mind: When I was much younger, my good friend’s mother passed away. She’d had a long battle with cancer, and though her death was not a surprise, that loss was huge for many. My friend, who had cared for and comforted his mother throughout the end of her life, was certainly mournful. But shortly after his mother’s passing, he started to crack jokes about it.

My reaction to his attempts at humor after such a huge loss was, at first, discomfort. Wasn’t it disrespectful to laugh? Didn’t laughing somehow diminish the gravity of the situation?

Over time, and having experienced several great losses of my own, I’ve come to understand that what my friend was doing made a lot of sense. It was healthy, even. At times when events in my life have been the most difficult, humor has been an indispensable comfort. Poking fun at myself for the circumstances surrounding a breakup, dissolving into fits of giggles when my stress has overwhelmed me, and even, somehow, finding a way to laugh about the way my grandpa wore his baseball caps while struggling with Alzheimer’s disease … these moments of joy that punctuated such palpable sadness helped me cope. They helped me see that something good could be on the other side of my circumstances.

Which brings me back to today, as I spend a few moments looking at my company’s Facebook data and notice, once again, that our most recent humorous post has far surpassed all other recent posts in popularity. I like to imagine that this one, along with the others, has reached at least one grieving person and allowed her to find a moment of joy. In reality, so much of our lives are outside of our control, but if we can find ways to laugh about what’s hard or what we don’t understand, I think we can probably conquer almost anything.

Thank you for laughing and for allowing me to laugh with you.

We’re always interested in hearing what you think about the content we post here and on Facebook. If you have ideas or suggestions, please reach out. You can send us a message over on Facebook.

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Planning Ahead: How Preplanning Helps Protect Against Inflation

February 2, 2026

Inflation affects nearly every part of daily life, from groceries and utilities to health care and housing. One area that is often overlooked is funeral and cremation planning. Like most services, these costs tend to increase over time. Preplanning provides a thoughtful way to prepare while reducing both financial and emotional stress in the future. More people are choosing to make arrangements in advance, not only to ensure their wishes are clearly known, but also to help protect their families from rising costs and difficult decisions during an already emotional time. The Reality of Rising Costs Funeral and cremation services include many components influenced by inflation, such as professional care, facilities, transportation, materials, and regulatory requirements. As these expenses increase, waiting to make arrangements can result in higher costs for families who may be unprepared to manage them, both emotionally and financially. Planning ahead allows you to make decisions calmly and deliberately, rather than facing rushed choices during a time of loss. Addressing Today’s Prices One benefit many people appreciate about preplanning is the ability to address pricing in advance and reduce uncertainty about future costs. Preplanned arrangements may be funded in full or paid over time, giving you the flexibility to choose an option that fits your budget and personal situation. This approach helps make planning more approachable and manageable. To help protect pricing, arrangements are typically financially secured through full payment or an approved payment plan. This helps ensure that the services you choose today remain in place in the future, even as costs change. Reducing Financial Stress for Loved Ones One of the most meaningful benefits of preplanning is the consideration it shows for those you care about. When a death occurs, families are often required to make many decisions in a short amount of time. Having arrangements already in place removes much of that burden. By planning ahead, you relieve your loved ones from financial uncertainty and clearly document your wishes. This allows them to focus on honoring your life and supporting one another instead of worrying about costs or decisions. A Thoughtful Part of Long Term Planning Preplanning final arrangements is similar to creating a will or setting aside savings. It is an important step in long term planning. It gives you the opportunity to take control, ask questions, and make informed choices without pressure. Many people find comfort in knowing their plans are documented, their preferences are clear, and inflation is less likely to affect the value of the arrangements they have chosen. Peace of Mind for Today and Tomorrow Ultimately, preplanning is about peace of mind. It provides reassurance that your wishes are understood, your family is supported, and important details are handled thoughtfully. If you have been considering planning ahead, our team is here to share information, explain options, and answer questions whenever you are ready. A simple conversation today can bring comfort and confidence for years to come.

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What to Wear to a Funeral Service

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Attending a funeral or memorial service can stir up many emotions, and for some, one of the first questions that comes to mind is: What should I wear? While traditions around funeral attire have evolved, dressing appropriately remains a way to show respect—for the person who has passed and for their loved ones. Whether the service is formal, casual, religious, or a celebration of life, here are a few thoughtful guidelines to help you choose what to wear. 1. Stick to Neutral, Conservative Colors Black is the traditional color of mourning in many cultures, but it's not your only option. Other respectful colors include navy, gray, deep green, brown, and muted tones. Avoid bright colors, loud patterns, or anything that draws unnecessary attention unless the family has requested otherwise. Tip: Some services may invite guests to wear the deceased’s favorite color or dress casually—check the obituary or invitation for guidance. 2. Dress Modestly and Neatly Funeral services are somber occasions, so choose clothing that is clean, pressed, and conservative: For women, options include a modest dress, blouse with slacks, or a skirt paired with a cardigan or blazer. For men, a dress shirt with slacks, a suit, or a sport coat with a tie is appropriate. 3. Footwear Matters, Too Choose closed-toe shoes that are comfortable, especially if you'll be standing or walking at a graveside service. Simple dress shoes, loafers, or flats work well. Avoid athletic sneakers or flip-flops unless the service is explicitly casual or outdoors. 4. Consider the Location and Weather The setting of the service can influence your outfit: For outdoor or graveside services, wear weather-appropriate clothing and shoes that can handle grass or gravel. Bring an umbrella or coat if needed. Dark outerwear is always a safe choice. In a place of worship, modest attire is often expected regardless of the season. 5. Keep Accessories Simple This is not the time for flashy jewelry or bold accessories. Choose understated items that won’t distract from the purpose of the gathering. 6. What About Children? Children should also be dressed neatly and conservatively. Simple outfits in neutral colors are best. If unsure, dress them as if attending a formal family event or church service. 7. When in Doubt, Dress Up a Bit It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than too casual at a funeral. If you’re unsure about the dress code, err on the side of formality. A respectful appearance helps convey sympathy and support. What you wear to a funeral doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive—but it should reflect care, humility, and consideration. Remember: your presence is what matters most

How to Plan a Funeral or Cremation

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Planning a funeral or cremation—whether for a loved one or preplanning for yourself—can feel overwhelming. There are many decisions to make, all while navigating the emotions that come with loss. But with a little preparation and guidance, the process can be meaningful, healing, and manageable. Whether you're planning ahead or handling arrangements after a loss, this guide walks you through the key steps of planning a funeral or cremation service. 1. Decide Between Burial and Cremation One of the first decisions to make is whether the individual will be buried or cremated. This choice often depends on personal, cultural, or religious preferences. Burial typically involves a casket, a graveside service, and a cemetery plot. Cremation may still include a funeral or memorial service and allows for more flexible options such as scattering, keeping an urn, or burying cremated remains. Some families choose direct cremation (without a service) or direct burial and hold a memorial at a later time. 2. Decide on the Type of Service There are many ways to honor a life, including: Traditional funeral service (usually with the body present) Memorial service (typically after cremation or burial) Celebration of life (a more personalized, informal event) Services can take place at the funeral home, a place of worship or outdoors. Choose what best reflects the person’s life and what brings comfort to those attending. 3. Select the Details You’ll want to personalize the service with details such as: Obituary and newspaper or online notices Casket or urn selection Music, readings, or spiritual elements Photos, videos, or displays of personal items Flowers or charitable donation options Who will speak, perform, or participate Many families also choose to include military honors, religious traditions, or cultural customs. 4. Consider Final Resting Place Options For burials: Choose a cemetery and purchase a plot if one isn’t already owned Decide on a headstone or grave marker For cremation: Decide whether ashes will be kept, scattered, buried, or placed in a niche Some families divide ashes among keepsake urns or jewelry 5. Handle Legal and Practical Matters Don’t forget the necessary paperwork: Obtain a death certificate (you may need multiple copies) Notify Social Security and financial institutions Handle wills, trusts, and estate matters If applicable, coordinate with veterans’ services or insurance providers Funeral directors can help guide you through most of this, but having documents organized in advance can ease the burden. 6. Consider Preplanning Preplanning your own arrangements relieves your loved ones of decision-making during an emotional time. You can: Specify burial or cremation preferences Choose the type of service and location Prepay or set aside funds Record personal touches you’d like included Preplanning ensures your wishes are followed—and it brings peace of mind to everyone involved. While planning a funeral or cremation is never easy, it is an opportunity to reflect, remember, and celebrate a life. Whether you’re planning for the future or coping with a loss today, take each step at your own pace, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals or trusted loved ones for support.